I'll be the first to admit that I may be one of the least trusting people on the planet. I know exactly where it stems from, so I won't even delve into childhood whatevers and try to deal with my problems. That's not what today's post is about.
I may not be very trusting of other people, but I do have a very large ego and love myself pretty immensely. I've grown to trust myself quite a lot since puberty (when every girl questions her own sanity, yes?). I've also been very lucky to have crafted a life for myself where I've had to rely on myself for a really long time, and have developed some pretty keen instincts.
So, I'll be quite honest in saying that I'm always a little confused when I meet someone who questions their every move. Especially when it comes to small life decisions, but also very much so when it comes to business.
In my line of work, with both Indie Shopography and my role at Indie Spaces, I talk to many people who are questioning their talents, their path, their goals. I mean, do you want what you want, or not?!
All inner monologue aside, chatting with these people makes me really grateful that I have a "might as well try it once" mentality. I live by the rule that I would rather regret something that I did rather than something I never had the guts to do. And that rule is where a lot of my "trust myself" gumption comes from.
Whenever I read through the trust chapter of The Declaration of You by Jessica Swift (whose site I developed almost 2 years ago) & Michelle Ward, I was again made very aware and thankful that my gut is so smart. It made me think about the qualities that I have that have always made trusting myself so easy.
1. [I believe] It's more advantageous (and fun, and worthwhile) to be old and regret things that I've done than regret never having done anything.
I live my life by this rule. And, sure, I get myself into sticky situations, but I'm all the stronger when I crawl myself out of them.
Every time I make a big decision, whether it was taking that crazy trip to Paris, or starting Indie Spaces, I have a good long chatwith myself about how I would feel about it in 50 years, even if it ended up being a disaster. And each and every time I know I'd regret more not doing it, than I ever would doing it, even if it failed.
Also, you can't succeed at something you never try.
2. Also, throw out that word "regret" when it comes to doing something.
I can't understand how you can regret doing something (except maybe committing murder or something super vile). I've taken on horrible clients, had some really bad friends and boyfriends, and done some stupid things in my life, but they all contribute to who/where I am today. I can't regret something that got me to this place.
3. always find the lesson.
A bad situation, especially one you get yourself into, will always teach you something. Always. Find it, and learn from it.
4. even commitments aren't forever.
Getting yourself into sticky situations is always tough, but you can pull yourself out of it. Whether you're stuck in a crappy job, crappy relationship, or crappy business venture, do what you gotta do to wrap it up and get out. Even the most commitment-necessary commitments can be gotten out of.
So there you have it. A few of the little things I keep in mind that keep me grounded, keep things in perspective, and allow me to live my life with as much trust in myself as I can muster. It isn't always easy, and - hell - it isn't always right, but at least I'm always moving forward, instead of sitting at a cross-roads waiting for decisions to be made for me.
If you're interested in checking out The Declaration of You (and I sincerely suggest you do, even as an established creative with a pretty doggone good idea of who I am, I found it fabulous) then head over and purchase your own.
There are almost 2.5 years of really great blog posts archived away in the depths of Indie Shopography.